Monday, May 17, 2010

The Ideal Muslim Husband part 10

I wish to draw this paper to a close by approaching the subject briefly from a different angle. We have so far looked at the duties of the Muslim husband as spelled out in the Qur’an and seen how these points were expanded and added to in the Sunnah. We have also taken recorded incidents in the life of the Prophet (saws) as an illustration of an ideal Muslim husband in action.

Lastly, I approached the question "What is an ideal Muslim husband" by asking Muslim women to tell me what they thought.

To this end a questionnaire was passed to a random group of Muslim women, who informed me what they considered the most desirable qualities for an ideal Muslim husband to be.
To this end, a random group of 35 Muslim women living locally, mainly married ones were selected.

The five most important qualities scored 2 points each and the five next most important qualities scored 1 point each. The result is shown below:

Women’s Order of Priority in the Desirable Qualities of an Ideal Muslim Husband


1st. A Pious Muslim 49

2nd. Truthfulness and honesty 47

3rd A good leader 40

4th Justice and fairness 38

5th Love of children 37

6th Kindness and consideration 31

7th Readiness to consult his wife 30

8th Good manners 29

9th Chastity and good morals 26

10th Trustworthiness and reliability 25

11th Avoids quarrelling and beating 22

12th Clean habits 20

13th Strength of mind and will 19

14th Gentleness 17

15th Generosity 14

16th A loving nature 16

17th Ability to be contented with one wife 15

18th Sense of humour 13

19th Reasonableness 11

20th Firmness 9

21st Intelligence 8

22nd Seriousness 7

23rd Good looks 6

24th Physical strength 4

25th Wealth 1

This list of qualities is not of course comprehensive, and there are a few important omissions. However, it raises many interesting points for our brothers to consider in their endeavor to qualify as a potential or actual ideal Muslim husband.

Those who feared that by adhering to Islamic piety and moral standards they would frighten women away will see that they are actually at the top of the league.

This information also confirms the natural order of things referred to and upheld in the Qur’an, in that women do apparently want their men folk to lead and not be led. Leadership has to be deserved and qualified by all the other qualities mentioned in the upper part of the list, such as piety, truthfulness, fairness, kindness, consultation, good manners, good morals and so on.

It is interesting to go over in one’s mind the qualities of the Prophet (saws) mentioned in the earlier part of this paper and match them with this list to see how far the Prophet’s (saws) behavior to his wives demonstrates perfectly those qualities to which women give priority.

Therefore any man who wants to make a success of his marriage cannot go wrong if he takes as his model and example the practice of the blessed Prophet (saws).

For our brothers I pray for Allah to give them the faith and moral strength to attain those great qualities and thereby make a success of their marriages.

For our sisters I pray for Allah’s guidance to make each of us worthy of being the ideal wife of an ideal Muslim husband.

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