Monday, May 17, 2010
The Ideal Muslim Husband part 10
Lastly, I approached the question "What is an ideal Muslim husband" by asking Muslim women to tell me what they thought.
To this end a questionnaire was passed to a random group of Muslim women, who informed me what they considered the most desirable qualities for an ideal Muslim husband to be.
To this end, a random group of 35 Muslim women living locally, mainly married ones were selected.
The five most important qualities scored 2 points each and the five next most important qualities scored 1 point each. The result is shown below:
Women’s Order of Priority in the Desirable Qualities of an Ideal Muslim Husband
1st. A Pious Muslim 49
2nd. Truthfulness and honesty 47
3rd A good leader 40
4th Justice and fairness 38
5th Love of children 37
6th Kindness and consideration 31
7th Readiness to consult his wife 30
8th Good manners 29
9th Chastity and good morals 26
10th Trustworthiness and reliability 25
11th Avoids quarrelling and beating 22
12th Clean habits 20
13th Strength of mind and will 19
14th Gentleness 17
15th Generosity 14
16th A loving nature 16
17th Ability to be contented with one wife 15
18th Sense of humour 13
19th Reasonableness 11
20th Firmness 9
21st Intelligence 8
22nd Seriousness 7
23rd Good looks 6
24th Physical strength 4
25th Wealth 1
This list of qualities is not of course comprehensive, and there are a few important omissions. However, it raises many interesting points for our brothers to consider in their endeavor to qualify as a potential or actual ideal Muslim husband.
Those who feared that by adhering to Islamic piety and moral standards they would frighten women away will see that they are actually at the top of the league.
This information also confirms the natural order of things referred to and upheld in the Qur’an, in that women do apparently want their men folk to lead and not be led. Leadership has to be deserved and qualified by all the other qualities mentioned in the upper part of the list, such as piety, truthfulness, fairness, kindness, consultation, good manners, good morals and so on.
It is interesting to go over in one’s mind the qualities of the Prophet (saws) mentioned in the earlier part of this paper and match them with this list to see how far the Prophet’s (saws) behavior to his wives demonstrates perfectly those qualities to which women give priority.
Therefore any man who wants to make a success of his marriage cannot go wrong if he takes as his model and example the practice of the blessed Prophet (saws).
For our brothers I pray for Allah to give them the faith and moral strength to attain those great qualities and thereby make a success of their marriages.